Kentucky Stories of Loss
Story AboutJohn Haponik (2 of 2)
I caught Covid at work. Before I knew I had it, I had given it to my son, Michael and my husband, John. My positive test was on the Monday after Christmas. Michael and I recovered. By the following Monday, John was in London at St. Josephs Hospital. His doctors said he was there in plenty of time. He was on ‘room’ air for a week, then moved to a different floor where he could have ‘high’ air. They did the drug treatment and the antibodies and at first expected him to be home by Saturday. I wasn’t allowed to stay with him, of course, but had his phone and we texted back and forth.
This is all too hard to write. At the end of his second week, he was placed on a c-pap. His lungs had filled with sepsis and blood clots. They had to turn the pressure up enough to force the oxygen into his struggling lungs. He developed a pneumothorax- a hole in his lung- from the pressure. He said it felt like a panic attack and it seemed like the whole floor of nurses dashed in to take care of him. That was the day he texted our daughter Stacy, “It is mostly boring here, but sometimes very exciting.” After that he was placed on a ventilator. Before they sedated him, he wrote out, “Darlene, I love you. JPH” on a sheet of paper the nurse gave him. I had it framed so he can tell me he loves me every day.
You can only stay so long on a ventilator before it starts working against you. He couldn’t get a tracheotomy because of the tube coming out of his lung; he was too medically fragile for surgery. His doctor explained that no surgeon would agree to surgery if the patient would die on the table, as they were certain John would.
His last week in ICU they finally let Michael and me visit for a while. I realize what a blessing this was… most people did not get the chance to sit with their loved ones since Covid. I thank the doctors and nurses at St. Joseph for that privilege. John was heavily sedated and didn’t know we were there. I wanted to climb in bed with him and hold him, but had to settle for hugging him around all his tubes. A priest gave him last rites for the Catholic Church on our 37th wedding anniversary. I refused to take him off the ventilator on that day, but came back to the hospital on the next. His nurse told me that all the nurses who had taken care of him were crying and upset that they hadn’t been able to save him. I said, “he must have been a good patient” … and she said, “That’s not it. We are all upset because he loves you so much and was so worried about you.”
I left the room while they disconnected the tubes and equipment. When I came back, I held his hand hugged him while he took his last breaths. He just stopped breathing. No struggle. Just peaceful rest. His heart kept beating, his pacemaker doing its duty even after his lungs could not. His nurse used a magnet to quiet the device… and my John was gone.
Story AboutWilma Kelley
My mom passed away on November 25th, 2020 due to COVID-19. She left me and my dad and her grandkids and great grandkids suddenly. She was my best friend and the best mother anybody could ask for. And I thank God every day for the life lessons she taught me as a child. Now she is my guardian angel and watches over me and my dad, her husband of 58 years. They had the kind of love that every little girl dreams of. Mom took care of daddy and now she has placed him in my hands. I only hope I can make her proud. Mom passed with a lot of complications from COVID-19 and because of that, nobody was allowed to see her. That’s what really hurts is the fact that she died alone and scared. We didn’t get to have the funeral or memorial service the way she would have liked…(up to 25 people). She knew she was loved dearly by everyone that had any contact with her. And my dad and myself miss her so bad. I love you Momma!
Story AboutDonald Earl Wyatt
My husband, Earl, died during the COVID19 PANDEMIC on June 4, 2020 at the hospital. (he did not have the covid virus) We got the call to come to the hospital but the nurse met us at the door and told us he was gone. The days that followed where sad and long. So much to do and no one to come home to. The following is a post our son,Micah, posted on fb when he returned to our home the morning his Papa passed.: Micah Wyatt June 5, 2020 at 4:22 PM · Shared with Public – I have wrestled with the idea of sharing this publicly cause my father was a private man, and the current viral context makes a difficult situation even more problematic- and the difficulties only increase as numbers grow. Yet, I didn’t want to deprive anyone of the opportunity to honor my father and grieve alongside those who also loved him. So, it is with a heavy heart made strong by the courage and strength my father modeled that I must inform the world my Donald Earl, known as, “Whitecloud” to those who knew him in youth due to his bright blonde hair, went to sleep last night and became one with the thunder. Dad had suffered in ways few could ever imagined because he never burdened others with his problems of body and spirit. So, while it is sad he is no longer here there is also comfort, cause he is released from the pains of his flesh. My father was my first friend and always my best. Funny, kind, and generous to a flaw, he was also brave, powerful, and no one to trifle with or disrespect. The calm and quite clouds would part, shot guns would rise, and the danger or disrespect would be dealt with. Yet, he was never unreasonable or unfair with his anger the entire time I knew him. Further, dad could flat kick your ass at Rook. Even after everyone at the table had six packs each he could still recall exactly what card had played and who played it. My father was a warrior, both literally and metaphorically. He served our country during the Vietnam era. He was an artillery gunner, and a damn good one. His gunnery squad were taken to West Point Military Academy to train the artillery infantry there. Dad supposedly never saw action, but I also know he had a top secret clearance at one point so what he really did remains an unknown. He shared what he was comfortable with, and the rest I never asked about. There is no doubt this world has had its level of kindness and generosity reduced today, but with an indomitable will and keen mind I will strive to double my efforts to help that level to not fall as far as it might so as to honor my father’s legacy. In his last years papa spent much of his time at his desk watching multitudes of birds come to the feeder hanging from the window before which he was seated. As I had done with grandma and grandpa Wyatt as a child, dad would quietly identify and witness various feathered friends as they ate, sang, and scuffled amongst each other. When I arrived home from the hospital after seeing my father off on one of his final journeys it was about 5:45am. As I got out of the car songs from hundreds of birds filled the air, and I wondered with a transcendent smile, “How many of these did papa feed?” Every morning the numerous birds on our mountain greet the sun with their voices. I do not know the winged choirs were for my father, but I also do not know they were not. love Micah
It will soon be a year since we lost him. My heart is still broken, the tears still fall. The hill will never be same without him. Love Always and Forever, Rosemary
Story AboutJoseph Vize
My Dad, who loved to golf, loved KY basketball, often went deer “hunting” but never took his gun, retired from Ford Motor Company, the best father, husband and Grandfather anyone could ask for. You need something? Take his or he would get it. You need help with something? Give him and time and you paid with a hot breakfast. He was the epitome of what a Dad truly was. When I moved to Texas, with two children, to meet my husband for his job change, he drove the 25 hours with me, moved me in and would only fly back to KY when my husband was there & he knew we were safe and sound. Hardest worker yet you could often find him “napping” while watching Gunsmoke Most days. “Perks of retirement” he would say.
Covid took him from us. He first was sick November 24, 2020. Only gastrointestinal issues, we suspected Covid but he “wasn’t that sick”. Went to the ER, sent home with Immodium. 4 days later, I had to call 911 as his O2 was below 70. Straight to Jewish hospital, he tried and fought for a week to stay off the vent. He was so scared and alone, I will never be able to thank the nurses who were there we we couldn’t be.
December 10, he was placed on the vent. It never helped. He went downhill fast and the early morning of December 18, his deceased mothers 95 birthday, we watched via a zoom call as his machines were turned off, the vent stopped and the moment he took his last breath. Thank God for the nurse who held his hand. My nieces were allowed to be there as they both are nurses in Louisville. They gently spoke to him as he transitioned to heaven. No more pain, struggle or Earthly sorrow. It has been 147 days. I miss him so much but take comfort in knowing I will see him again.
Dad, we can never tell you how much you are loved and missed. Until we meet again!
Story AboutJudy Zimmerman
My wife Judy is missed dearly by everyone that ever met her. Her greatest love was for her God, her Family and her Country. She lived her life with a smile and lots of humor. She could make anyone smile, especially a child. I never saw a child that she could not comfort and put at ease. Her favorite thing to share with others was her God and she always told everyone that there were 7 children who called her mom, that she only gave birth to one, and she forgot which one that was. Covid-19 claimed her life on September 30, 2020. She was one of a kind and is missed by all who knew her. May you rest in the arms of Jesus.
Story AboutLawrence Hunt
My daddy has always been a junk dealer. He loved going places, buying and selling just about anything. He liked talking to people — I think he knew everyone in the county and several counties around us. He loved his family and he loved telling everyone about all his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. About 3 years ago he had to have both of his legs amputated but we never let him give up. He fought hard and he bounced back, he knew he couldn’t do the things he use to do but he adjusted and figured out things he could do. Then the pandemic hit and it made it harder for him because people couldn’t come around him because they were afraid they would make him sick but he still had the immediate family around encouraging him that it would maybe end soon. But somehow Covid made it to my dad’s house and on Thanksgiving day in 2020 my dad was taken to the hospital and tested positive for Covid. I was so scared because I was thinking that someone with his health problems he would not be coming back. But to my surprise he was back home in about three days. It was like there was nothing wrong with him. So when they started talking about the vaccine he couldn’t wait to get it; he said he would be first in line but that didn’t happen because on Feb. 3rd 2021 my dad the fighter died from complications of COVID-19.
Story AboutEVALENA HANSHAW
My precious mother was the kindest hearted person I ever knew. She lost the ability to walk in 2015, ended up in a nursing home, and died from COVID-19 in a nursing home in November 2020.
I was not able to hug her, kiss her, or touch her after my last in-person visit in March 2020. We had to do the window visits which mom never fully understand as to why.
Why couldn’t I come inside her room and visit her like always?
Why wasn’t we allowed to touch each other?
The window visits were timed to only 30 minutes per visit.
She was 80 years old with muscular dystrophy and diabetes. A true fighter all the way.
I received the phone call on November 19, 2020 that mom was being sent to Central Baptist Hospital to the COVID-19 Unit.
Mom passed away from COVID-19 on November 24, 2020.
We were not allowed to visit her, to sit with her, to hold her hand during her last hours.
This has been the most difficult part to deal with as I and my brother cannot find closure. It hurts us so deeply knowing that our dear mother died all alone.
We were able to talk with her by phone on November 20, 2020 and tell our goodbyes to her and tell her we loved her and she told us she loved us. However, it did not take the place of being there with mom.
Mom’s name is Evalena Sparks Hanshaw.
Born and raised in Carter County, Kentucky. The oldest daughter of 14 children. Mom was raised hard in the small northeastern Kentucky community of Olive Hill. They lived next door to to the Tom T. Hall’s family (the famous country music artist). Tom T. was four years older than mom (born in 1936). Mom was born in 1940.
My grandparents owned a farm and raised their own food, had cows, horses, chickens, hogs, and an orchard. Mom described it always with a smile and said it was a beautiful “home place.”
Mom had a very special tenderness, kindness and an authentic love that highlighted her career as a nurse aid, housewife and mother.
She was an outstanding cook, a great artist, a gifted musician, and an avid gardener. She loved her rose garden on the farm her and dad owned prior to her going into the nursing home.
Her and dad thoroughly enjoyed raising the miniature horses on their farm.
Even though dad and mom had to move to Lexington to find jobs, mom was always a country girl at heart.
I love my precious mother and I miss her each and every day.
Story AboutBobby Rorer
Thought my whole life this man was invincible. He fought bravely for our country and wore many hats in the political arena. He is missed greatly by those who knew and loved him.
Story AboutEd McDaniel
I will always remember how our little dog Lucy would hear his truck pull up in the driveway and run to the kitchen and wait until he unlocked the door to come in.
Story AboutRay Richard
My husband, Ray, who I knew for more than 42 years died of Covid in November 2020. I miss him every day.
When I met him, we lived 800 miles apart so we wrote letters to each other. There was no internet or social media. We saved every letter and card we sent to one another — over 225 in all were written during the seven months we dated and were engaged.
After I lost Ray to Covid, I spent several hours re-reading every word in those letters. What a beautiful reminder of our love back then that truly lasted through the years we had together.
My heart is forever his.